Where the mind takes us
by 0cloudyday
Summary: Sometimes you have to forget, to survive. Dean knows that now.


**Title:** Where the mind takes us  
**Author:** 0cloudyday  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Characters:** Dean, John  
**Warning/Spoiler: **none/PreSeries  
**Summary: **Sometimes you have to forget, to survive. Dean knows that now.

** Disclaimer: **I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.

** A/N: **My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

This story is just something that came into my mind while I was writing my other story. So I had to write it down. This is really short and can be seen as a one shot for a while. I am planning to write more, but I have my other story to finish and am already very busy in general, so we will see :)! Would love to get some reviews.

**Where the mind takes us**

When he woke up it felt wrong. Or let's say it was as if something wasn't right. But Dean could quiet put his finger on it. Well one problem was probably that he couldn't even remember what happened last night.. and his head hurt like hell and the light shining through the windows were a pain in the ass.

Great. A hangover. Dad is going to kill him for getting drunk the night before the hunt.

Dad! Dean finally opened his eyes and tried to get out of the bed. But he immediately regretted the fast movement. He groaned and he started to stagger. He grabbed for the nightstand for support. Closed his eyes once again and tried to breath and focus. He wondered what he had drunken last night or how much... because this sure as hell was the worst hangover he ever had and he was Dean Winchester.

Dean had learned from his earlier mistake and now he opened his eyes slowly. Waiting for the room to stop spinning.

Okay that was a good start, he thought.

When he finally managed to stand on his own again, the door to their motel room suddenly opened. His Dad entered the room. He looked wracked. He probably hadn't slept all night, doing all the researches. But then Dean saw the fresh new wound on his father's face.

"You went on the hunt alone?" Dean asked unbelievingly.

"Take a shower and get your stuff. We are leaving..." John said calmly, but Dean could feel that he was angry.

"But..." Dean wanted to... he actually didn't really know what he wanted to say, it just felt like he should say something. It was strange.

"This was an order." John said now, not so calm anymore. He was giving Dean a 'don't-you-dare-to-argue'-look and Dean immediately closed his mouth. Although he felt as if he was betraying someone... if he just knew whom.

"Yes sir." Dean said like a _little soldier . _Did he just think that? Dean felt dizzy. What the hell had he drunken last night.

John nodded and left the room.

* * *

Dean looked at the other bed. It was untouched. His dad really hadn't slept at all... and he couldn't have been so wasted that he hadn't heard his father go out, come back, shower and stitch himself and pack all his stuff, could he? These were instincts he had trained since he was four. Even being wasted wouldn't turn down those instincts, would it?

Okay he definitely wouldn't touch a bottle anymore, for a while at least. He sure as hell loved girls and beer and playing pool. But feeling so disorientated and feeling as if something important – like last night's memories- was missing, not a good feeling. Not at all.

* * *

After a month John finally started to wonder. Dean sure as hell was acting strange. Okay let's say he was acting absolutely normal. As if nothing had happened, as if all this was normal. As if Dean had always been the one who went to the library and stayed there till closing time – desperate to be prepared. Knowing everything about their next hunt.

And then there were these moments when Dean out of the sudden decided to talk back. Being angry and trying to start an argument. But these moments always passed after a few seconds. And Dean always seemed to be confused of his reaction.

Okay all in all Dean wasn't acting like himself at all. John hadn't expected anything else, after all Sam was the most important person in Dean's life. Hell, he himself had made Sam the most important person in Dean's life. He didn't really regret it. After all it gave Dean something to life for – especially after Mary died and Dean had been hiding in his own little world... and Sam... it was hard to think about Sam without being angry. Being angry at Sam, but mostly at himself. After all he should be proud. He should have wished this for both of his kids. But right now he was only worried about their safety and all the demons who were out there. Let's just say Sam actually turned out pretty good.

But he actually never thought they would go separate ways. He had never thought what would happen to Dean when the most precious person in his life would be taken away from him, or worse would leave him freely.

* * *

"Dean!" John said after a while and Dean looked up from the magazine he was reading. Definitely something more Dean like.

"Yeah." Dean asked and took another bite from his burger.

"I seriously don't want to talk about this right now... but I am worried, Dean. You are seriously acting out of character. And I can't hunt properly when I have to worry about your acting. I need to be sure that your head is in this!" John said calmly. Looking in his son's eyes. Who looked confused at his father after his speech.

"Dad. I have no idea what you are talking about! Are you still mad because of the drinking last month? I haven't touched a beer since then. It won't happen again." Dean promised.

"DEAN!" John said angrily and Dean jumped. Dean seriously didn't know what his Dad was mad about... but somehow he was scared, something deep inside him didn't want to know what his father was mad about.

"You know exactly that I am talking about Sam! I get that you are angry at me, but your brother didn't give me another chance!" John said loud. Pacing now.

Dean looked at his father puzzled. His father had gone nuts. What the hell was he talking about. "Dad... Dad! What are you... who is Sam? And brother? Are you alright?" Dean asked concerned.

Now John was looking at his son as if he saw a ghost – okay his father wasn't looking at ghosts like that because he was expecting them, so probably more like seeing an alien or something...

John looked at his son intensely, trying to figure out if Dean was joking or something, but after a while he realized that Dean was serious. He went pale and sat down on the other bed.

"Dean, what happened a month ago?" John asked calmly.

"I can't really remember. I guess I drank a little too much." Dean admitted.

"Okay then Oakland, three month ago. We were hunting a werewolf. You remember that?" John said, harsh and urgeing.

"Yeah sure I remember that." Dean was totally confused of his father's acting.

"It was a three man hunt." John added.

"Yeah, I know. I was there." Dean reminded his father.

"Who was the bait?" John asked and looked at his son carefully.

"Some hunter we met there. Dad, you alright?" Dean asked concerned. But John wasn't really paying attention anymore. He was now paler than before and if he hadn't been sitting, he was sure his legs wouldn't have been able to carry his weight.

This wasn't possible. Some cosmic joke. John grabbed for his wallet and he had to remind himself to breath when he searched for the photo.

"Dean, who is this next to you on the photo?" John asked as calm as possible.

Dean just stared at the picture for seconds without reacting at all. He felt like in trance. His vision started to blur and before he could say anything or think anything, he slipped into unconsciousness. Somewhere where his heart would stop to hurt, because somebody betrayed it.

-at the moment: the end-


End file.
